[The Editors regret that there is no journal entry for this week. We did however receive an audio recording. After considerable debate we have decided to release a transcript of that recording. Readers are warned that the recording is most disturbing. Reckless must have incurred a severe head injury. He appears delirious and unaware of his surroundings.]
Rick: Thank you. Thank you. It’s a pleasure to be on the show . . . Thank you Mr. Letterman . . . okay, then, David.
[It appears he believes he is on the Letterman show. There are long moments of silence during which we assume Rick imagines Mr. Letterman asking him questions.]
Rick: Well, yes of course it was dangerous at times, but I’ve been preparing for this ascent my entire life. Of course, making the ascent during the worst blizzard ever seen in those parts did make it bit challenging. Of course the earthquake didn’t help. The last leg I took snow blind, and the volcanic explosion left me temporarily deaf. I had to feel my way up the last half mile of the climb. (laughs) Well, yes Mr. Letter, I mean David I guess you could call me the Helen Keller of mountain climbing. Except her fingers weren’t frostbitten. . . . Well, I can tell you it took precise calculations. But you see I’ve always been good at math. Back in school, that was in Carbon County, Wyoming we all took math seriously. I was in a math intervention program famous for getting great results. Editor’s Note: Rick is correct about Carbon County, WY having an exceptional math intervention program. For this week’s math question find out what percent of Carbon County students achieved 2 years or more math growth during a 7 month period. Click here to find the answer.
[There is a long silence during which we assume David Letterman introduces the next guest. At this point Reckless appears to turn his attention to her.]
Rick: Wow! I’m flattered. Who’d guess that the most beautiful and desirable movie star in Hollywood would be such a fan? Please, please you’re embarrassing me. All right, I guess there probably isn’t a man in Hollywood like me . . .
[At this point the recording picks up a variety of additional noises. First, we hear Tenzing bark. Soon after, he growls. This is then followed by the sound of something else growling. Perhaps a bear?]
Rick: What? Oh, don’t worry David I’m strictly a lone wolf. No room for a partner in this adventurer’s life, even the most beautiful and desirable movie star in Hollywood. A kiss? Well, I don’t know. My mother may be watching … You think so? … well, yeah we wouldn’t want to disappoint the audience.
[The growls become louder and now clearly turn into a snarl. This is no bear. This is a cat. A very big cat. Most likely a large female mountain lion otherwise known as puma, cougar, catamount, or panther.]
Rick: Well, okay then. Here goes … Wow, David, I think she’s purring.
[We will refrain from describing the cries, and screams that take place next. Unfortunately, this is all there is to the recording. We’ll have to wait until we hear next from Rick, hopefully soon.]
Join us for our next exciting installment:
A Quick Visit to the Maul
or Catastrophe Ahead
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